Mobile Sms

• Sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money but if you think sex is funny then fuck yourself and safe your money.

• Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'Goods delivered are not returnable.'
Groom gave another note back to father: 'Contract void if seal is broken.'

• He met a lady while browsing. She unzipped his dotcom when downloading. Since he was virus free he slotted his floppy disk into her hotmail she screamed yahoo!

• Man: May l hv some condoms please. I'm giving my gal a gift tonight.
Clerk: Shall I gift wrap them?
Man: No, the condoms will serve as a wrapper for the gift.

• Sex is good, sex is fine.
doggy style or 69,
just 4 fun or getting paid,
everyone loves getting laid,
so if u want me in the sack,
lick ur lips n text me back.


• 3 men sitting in a cafe, all wanking.
Waitress: What the fuck are you all doing?
One points to a sign that reads: FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!

• Little gypsy girl: Which way do my knickers go?
Her Mom: How many fucking more times do I have to tell u yellow to the front & brown to the back!

• They have found a new position in the Karma Sutra. It's called the 'plumber'...
Two of you stay in all day and no f*cker comes!

• Text msgs are like a blow job from an amateur prostitute......short, sweet and cheap!

• Mr & Mrs Blobby are lyin in bed 1 nite Mrs Bloby turns 2 Mr Bloby & says: Bluba lluba lupblub.
Mr Bloby turns & says: Shut the fuck up and swallow bitch!

• Little Girl: Mom, I just found out that the boy next door has a penis like a peanut.
Mommy: U mean it's small?
Little Girl: No, it's salty.

• 3 Facts of Life:
Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai.
Musibat aur penis kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai.
Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti hai.

• One day the PENIS tells the balls: Tonight v r goin for a party!
The balls reply: U bloody fuckin liar, u always get inside while v r left outside!

• Q: If a married woman is called Polo... The mint with a hole, then what's an unmarried woman called?
A: Center Fresh.

• To avoid condom related accident use 2 condoms with chilli powder in between them if outer breaks she will know and if inner one breaks you will know!


• A friend like u is not like boobs coz everyone sucks them. Not like vagina coz it tears. You r like a penis coz it always stands when needed.

• Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,
Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,
In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain.

• 70 yr old man: Doc meri age mein sex style kyo hona chahiye?
Doc: Doggy style.
Man: Aapke matlab peeche se…?
Doc: Nahin, sirf soongh aur chaat.

• Happiness is like penis; always looks small if u hold it in ur hands but when u learn to share it, u'll realize how big & precious it is!

• Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boob dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: Fuck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

• Women r the best Engines: Accepts any size of Piston, are self Lubricating, start up with a Finger, automatic oil change every 4 week.

• Man gives blood to save his girlfriends life. Later on they split up & man wants blood back. She throws a used tampon at him & says: Pay u monthly, u bastard!

• Q: What's the definition of indefinitely?
A: When your balls are slapping up against her ass, you are in.....definitely.

• Q: Does penis deserve overtime & hazard pay?
A: Yes! Coz it works in deep, damp, hot tunnels, often head down & mostly in night shifts!

• A prostitute's nursery rhyme:
One two lets screw,
Three four I'm a whore,
Five six suck the dick,
Seven eight ejaculate,
Nine ten fuck me again.


• A loving husband tattooed I LOVE U on his dick n showed it to his wife. She replied: "This is ur old habit of Putting Words Into My Mouth...!"

• What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done by Pol-land into Hol-land between Thai-land, occasionally with a little help from Greece!

• Bunny seriously objected to the nomenclature of VAGINA.
His objection: Iko cheez ta vajaan wali hai, teh ohnu kehande ne VAJAI NA !

• A woman who arouses a man and leaves is called a Cockteaser. What is a man who does the same called?
A Moisturiser.

• Our love will never become cold and hollow unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.

• What is pure Hindi name of Condom??
Rubber ki Chiknai yukt Prajanan virodhak mardana Ling ki topi.

• Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Everytime a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet

• A man was fucking a nurse. She shouts: Aah it's painful.
Man: Kamini, daily u r injecting me where I don’t hv hole, I'm putting it in ur hole & u say it hurts

• Latest product in the market: George Bush condoms ideal for fuckers who dont know when to pull out

• Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.